So, the thing is… I am grateful for tape.
The school year has started for us. I was really, really, REALLY looking forward to my daughters going back to school –so much so that I am a little ashamed of myself. I LOVE summer, don’t get me wrong. I love the unstructured days and time at the pool and the ways my girls work the system to get to stay up later. I’m a sucker for the Fourth of July and lemonade stands and the spray of freckles that appears across Ana’s nose no matter how much sunscreen we use. It’s fun to concentrate on something besides schoolwork -- Ana (7) learned to ride a two-wheeler this summer and Jane (4) learned to swim and go off of the diving board.
But we live in Central Texas and it’s sooo hot here. I mean HOT. This has been one of those brutal summers. They come around every three or four years with long stretches of 100 degree plus days. (The summer I was pregnant with Jane, it hit 112 degrees in September!) I always forget that it’s going to be this hot here. By the end of August, we’re really suffering.
We are blessed with air-conditioning but between the heat and the mosquitoes, we’re as much prisoners of our house as my Northern friends are during the long, icy winters. We get cabin fever! We get on each other’s nerves. We watch too much television and get too little exercise. No matter how much water we pour on our garden, it dries up and withers away. Our lawn is parched, the leaves on the trees turn brown and fall, everyone seems sullen and uncommunicative and we all go about our chores with as minimal an effort as possible.
This year, Ana’s school started a week before Jane’s so she and I had a week of one-on-one time and I spoiled her rotten. In some ways, I think I was trying to make up to her for her October birthday, which kept her from starting Kindergarten with most of her friends. She’s ready to start, in that she’s smart and knows her letters and numbers, etc. But I think it’s just as well that we wait a year because Jane, as we all know, is NOT a pleaser. I’ve always kind of admired that trait in other people since I’m sort of a Pathological Pleaser myself, but I never really understood how hard it is to parent a child when you can’t use guilt or approval as motivators. (Which, I realize, is an indictment of my parenting style but there you have it.) Jane simply refuses to follow any rule unless it just happens to already be a part of her own agenda.
(Sigh.)
Parenting Jane is a lot like enduring the white-hot Texas heat. It’s cyclical. First, there’s a big storm. Then there are endless days of sun where she’s full of energy and tests her boundaries and says all these hilarious things. Just as I start to weary of the constant noise, the constant testing, the constant demands and high drama, something happens that gives me a glimpse of what life will be like if I survive her childhood. Like, I got my first “I love you” note from Jane this summer.
And THEN, something happens that reminds me of Jane’s deep, instinctual knowledge of what’s really important in this world. It’s like the first crisp fall day, when you remember why you stuck it out through the heat. Last week, we visited Jane’s school and met her teacher and classmates. We were so busy chatting that we got to the big assembly hall too late for the promised donuts. So we stopped at the grocery store on our way home and Jane ate a donut and then I bought her some tape because we spotted this display of tape in these incredibly cool, neon-colored dispensers and we just couldn’t resist! (She asked for one for Ana, too, and I’m all about encouraging that type of sisterly sharing.)
Later that afternoon, Jane was coloring pictures to send to my parents. She let ME address and stamp the envelopes (so they actually made it to Dallas this time) and then she sealed them carefully with her new tape. She took them to the mailbox one at a time. I noticed that she stopped about halfway down the walkway, raised her arms and face skyward and then continued on her way.
“Janie, what were you doing?” I asked when she came back inside.
“Blessing God.”
“Blessing God?” I smiled. “What does that mean?”
“Well, when you say thank you to God for things you love, it’s called ‘blessing God.’ He likes that.”
“Oh.”
So the next time she went to the mailbox, I braved the heat and stood on the front porch.
Sure enough, about half-way down the walkway, she stopped, lifted her arms and face to the heavens and yelled at the top of her lungs, “THANK YOU FOR THE TAPE!!!”
Well, I don’t know about you, but it’s been a very long time since I noticed how miraculous tape is.
And it’s been a long time since I’ve greeted the dog days of summer and my dying lawn with a renewed sense of my blessings. I seem to be extra aware of how many reasons I have to “bless God” right now. Not just for the big things—my wonderful kids and husband and friends and the roof over our heads –but also for the little things. Like pure, cold drinking water, and nightlights, and ‘Nilla Wafers and Sharpie pens. And the (sometimes) serious blue eyes of my non-pleaser, who has figured out more about the power of joyous gratitude in her four years than I have in my forty.
And I don’t know about you, but I’m packing up everything I can share into boxes and envelopes to send to the miserable, displaced people from flood-ravaged and looted New Orleans. The kids and I are going through their toys and books so we can pack some of them up to send to children who just lost everything. We’re going to make ‘health kits’ (see instructions below) and we’re going to figure out how much we can cut out of our monthly budget to send to the Red Cross.
I’ll be sealing our packages with long strips of tape.
For which I am sincerely and deeply blessing God.
To subscribe or unsubscribe to this free (if sporadic) e-mail newsletter, send e-mail to barb@sothethingis.com. (Your address will not be used for any other purpose.) If you would like to forward this column on, please do so in its entirety. Feedback welcome. Back issues can be found at http://www.sothethingis.com.
(c) Barbara Cooper 2005
Barbara Cooper is the mother of Ana (7) and Jane (4.75). She lives in Austin, Texas and she wishes she could send everyone a groovy new tape dispenser.
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If you would like to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina, here is a list of groups:
NATIONAL VOLUNTARY ORGANIZATIONS ACTIVE IN DISASTER:
Web: http://www.nvoad.org
Here is the Federal Emergency Management Agency's contact info:
Phone: 1-800-621-FEMA
FEMA Emergency Contact:
http://www.fema.gov/fema/statedr.shtm
and FEMA Charity tip list, to avoid fraud.
http://www.fema.gov/rrr/help2.shtm
This is a list of Better Business Bureau approved charities:
http://www.give.org/news/katrina.asp
American Red Cross (800) HELP NOW (435-7669)
http://www.redcross.org/donate/donate.html
America's Second Harvest (800) 344-8070
Adventist Community Services (800) 381-7171
Catholic Charities, USA (703) 549-1390
Christian Disaster Response (941) 956-5183 or (941) 551-9554
Christian Reformed World Relief Committee (800) 848-5818
Church World Service (800) 297-1516
Convoy of Hope (417) 823-8998
Lutheran Disaster Response (800) 638-3522
Mennonite Disaster Service (717) 859-2210
Nazarene Disaster Response (888) 256-5886
Presbyterian Disaster Assistance (800) 872-3283
Salvation Army (800) SAL-ARMY (725-2769)
Southern Baptist Convention -- Disaster Relief (800) 462-8657, ext.6133
United Methodist Committee on Relief (800) 554-8583
Those who would like to offer their homes to those needing a place to stay can post on this website: http://www.nola.com/forums/homesavailable/
My children and I will be assembling kits like these which are requested by United Methodist Committee on Relief. For more information, the website is: http://gbgm-umc.org/umcor/05/katrinaresp.cfm
Kits to Sustain Everyday Life
The following kit is used in places where people do not have ready access to many essential supplies for everyday life. Please follow the directions exactly. Include all items; do not add items that are not on the lists. Extra gifts, though given with the best of intentions, render a kit unusable
and must be removed. Note: All items sent must be new!
Health kits provide basic necessities to people who have been forced to leave their homes because of human conflict or natural disaster. Health kits are also used as learning tools in personal hygiene, literacy, nutrition and cooking classes. When people gain the knowledge and materials to maintain personal hygiene, their overall health improves.
1 hand towel (15" x 25" up to 17" x 27")
1 washcloth
1 comb (large and sturdy, not pocket-sized)
1 nail file or fingernail clippers (no emery boards or toenail clippers)
1 bath-size bar of soap (3 oz. and up)
1 toothbrush (single brushes only in original wrapper, No child-size brushes)
1 large tube of toothpaste (4.5 oz. or larger, expiration date must be 6 months or longer)
6 adhesive plastic strip sterile bandages
Place these items inside a sealed one-gallon plastic bag.
Value: $12 per kit.
Important: Please do not include any religious, political or patriotic notes or emblems in any kit.
Thank you for your donations. You are helping to make a difference in people's lives.